You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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