David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
