I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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