can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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