Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
