i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
