it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
tell me about the eggs
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