I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
