I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
