bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
