I want to have your abortion
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo