Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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