Plan B is the new Plan A
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize