My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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