I cannot find my penis.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We named our party play list daddy issues
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
These tits shall not be calmed
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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