I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
