but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
