her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
