I am spending my child support on dildos
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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