i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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