I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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