I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i've created a new STD.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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