Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
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I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
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IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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