Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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