North Korea, Best Korea!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
