She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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