Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
