even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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