I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Green mimosas i think yes
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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