Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
