sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize