it hurts more in the daytime
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
