Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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