Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm passing your future prison.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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