i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
