I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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