just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize