facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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