youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
