I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i think i just lost a toe
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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