um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
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The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
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I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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