you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
