i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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