Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
