ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He better not be in your backpack
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
