As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
How does one acquire holy water?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
