'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
