he puts the penis in happiness.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
This is the high leading the old right now
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
