I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
