the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
