All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize