that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You're like the curious george of whores
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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