I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
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It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
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You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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