I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I skipped work to stalk him.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
